The pharmacist pretty much echoed word for word what you have been saying. I deal with anxiety and panic attacks and have been since I was in my 20's. I have a bottle of xanax that usually last me 6 months or more, because I do not take them unless I start having a full fledged panic attack and with breathing exercises, meditation and change in attitude I've been real successful managing my panic attacks. The one thing he warned me about is that it is ok to use the xanax during this ordeal of coming off the oxycodone, but he was persistent in telling me that he doesn't want me to use it daily for more than 7 days. Like I said I rarely use it to begin with, maybe 1 or 2 times in a period of 2 months, so I've never had a problem being addicted to those, but he said like you said, that after 5-7 days the worst should be over and with me having anxiety and panic attacks coming off the oxycodone, he doesn't want me to become psychologically dependent on them and being to think they are the reason I'm able to cope with the panic attacks. I've had panic attacks since my 20's and I have dealt with them successfully learning alternative means like breathing exercises, meditation, keeping myself busy etc. So I think his main concern was that he didn't want me to use them longer than 7 days, so I don't trade one for the other. I am starting to feel better a little today besides being stuck on the porcelain throne. I haven't had to take any xanax as of yet (Fingers crossing).
You never talk about your profession and I don't want to stick my nose where it doesn't belong, but you have said on multiple occasions that opioids are not exceptable. I don't know what you do for a living and I don't need to know, I was just impressed how you were able to stop, the points of view you share about "who would you want to be on opioids working with you e.g., a doctor, a minister etc." The most quilt I feel personally is for my family, I haven't been half the dad or husband I could be in these last 4 months and this gives me the strength to put this behind me. I think, a lot of times our way of viewing things, our point of view is important and today I decided to take the guilt I am feeling off myself and place it on the oxycodone, make the oxycodone the enemy, get angry at it
, make it personal. How can I let something like this destroy all the hard work I have been putting into school, all the blessings I have been given by God, how can I let some little pill take all that away from me and you know what.... IT's not going to! I refuse to lose my life, my work, my family over a (sorry for the language) stupid pill, I will find a way to learn how to live with the pain, some days may not be as good as others, but even my worst day of pain is better than what this little pill offers me. Hate is such a strong word and I don't use it, but right now I am shouting to the roof tops "I hate Oxycodone."
Thank you for standing with me these couple of days and I don't know how to repay you except to pass it on and that I will do my friend.
Blessings,
Keith