I think that your AH has taken a toll on your self worth. YOU are good mother and person. You are also an incredibly strong person, I think you just don't know how strong you are, yet.
The important thing is that you realized what this is doing to you and your children, and want to make a change. Maybe if your AH is left to his own, and realizes he is loosing his family that may help him as well, but no guarantee.
Is there any family or friends that could help you out and let you stay with them?
Maybe his mom would be wiling to have him move(because of the drugs) and let you guys stay. I could see doing that if I were a grandmother, myself.
Is there anyway you could hide money to save for yourself to leave? My Friends did that. She hid money from her AH little by little and then had enough to move. That seems hard in a situation with 4 kids. Maybe a family member could help with that?
Just some ideas.
Be careful though, violence can escalate when you try to separate yourself from the addict.
My thoughts are with you and your family, hugs
