So today would have been day 5, if I didn't slip. I woke up stressed, scared, panic attacks, soaked from sweat and only got 4 broken hours of sleep. My ex boss, bf and bff (yea a messed up situation there and from here on out he will just be know as B) sent me an email asking me to go through the books to see if he missed anything so he can turn it over to the accountant and my mom (who has been staying with me) told me her house is being forcloused on...sigh.
I do not do well with stress and the thought of going through the books is making me sick to my stomach. I take full responsiblity for what I have done and how much I have hurt B with this betrayal, so I want to help fix what I can but I just can't bring myself to do it
I am trying to psych myself up for this, so I know what I am dealing with when I am finally sober. But here comes the panic and sick to my stomach feeling...
Just need to vent for a moment, thanks for listening.