October 11 in The Little Blue Book ONE DAY at a TIME in AL-ANON:
The wife with a long-standing habit of managing her husband may not even realize that she is constantly directing and admonishing him.
“Don’t wear that blue shirt today; wear this one.” – “It’s almost time for church. You better get ready.” – “Don’t take the car out in this weather!” – “You’ve made four AA meetings this week and the kitchen needs painting.”
Trifles, yes, but such an attitude deprives the husband of all freedom of choice, all dignity and manhood. She plays the mother role and treats him like a child who wouldn’t know what to do without being told.
TODAY’S REMINDER
If in the troubled drinking years I unwisely assumed responsibility that should have been my husband’s, I will now break these habits of managing. I realize now, through Al-Anon, that sobriety might have come much sooner if I had been able to stand aside and let the alcoholic, suffer the consequences of his own choices. I will respect his rights as an individual.
“Each of us has the right and the obligation to make our own decisions. It is character-destroying to usurp that right.”