thank you onlythe truth for bringing up what it is really about which is abuse of power!
the 13 step is about people who have power using it to manipulate those with less power (real or immagined).
I know people who came to aa with a spouse or significant other of a fairly short term time...and they got through it, stayed to gether and went on to a great life...same with people meeting in the first few weeks...sometimes and older member and a younger memeber (sobriety wise).
The point is do they use there status as an "old timer" to take advantage of an newcommer? This can happen in sponsorship as well, between two people with no sexual envolvement....The sponsor who says you have to mow their lawn to show you are getting "outside of self" is just as guilty of 13 stepping as the member who uses thier sobriety to get you in bed.
This can all be a bit confusing for a newcommer, wich is exactly why it on the back of the older members to watch themselves and their egos and talk with other long time members to be sure they are not (sometimes without intending to) taking advantage of a newcommer.
I went out with a member with 5 years when I had 6 months. People called it 13th stepping, but it actually was great...he made his move and accepted my "no" .... It was great actually, no one had ever accepted a no from me before!!!! I know it doesn't always turn out that way...but I figure it happened how it did for a reason for me.