Spica - thanks so much for the tips, I appreciate it... you know, I considered seeking out a NA group of some kind, but somehow I got the idea that AA or NA creates addicts... heard as much from my boyfriend and other people... that it creates this addict mentallity or something..?!? No idea really... that, and I guess, part of me is afraid the more I talk or think about drugs, the more it'll continue being a part of my life.. like I hope about when some time comes it's just a non-issue.. maybe that's ridiculous.. but I still hope... And Spica, you are so right.. this is a LOT of emotional BS... I don't have any lingering physical issues.. it's just the damn stuff in my head.. =/
The Rabbit - thanks for the encouragement... those dreams, ones where I'm relieved to the point of crying when I find half crushed dirty pills in the carpet floor... they are ****ing nightmares as far as I'm concerned.. I always wake up feeling like ****. those thoughts haunt me. glad to hear I'm not the only one who has them...