Thank You
I want to thank you all for your posts and words. Deep down, I know that this is not my fault. He was an addict before I met him and he will always be one, but I always thought that if I loved him enough and if I were everything he needed then he wouldn't need drugs. I never truly realized how bad drugs ruled his life. Ex husband or not, he is still the father of my son and I care about him. I want to be able to help him through this and I want him to be better. Maybe my ego is out of control, I mean who can seriously expect one person to make another person better, or to cure all of their problems? But the reality is that I did expect myself to make him better. Even writing it down, it sounds ridiculous - but I have never wanted something so badly as I want for him to be ok. How sick is that? I'm not even married to this man and I am literally making myself sick with worry and regret!!
Perhaps I do need to see a counselor. I never thought that the person who was on the other side of addiction could be affected so much by this disease but I suppose that was another area that I was too nieve in.
So I do have a question though - what should I do? I mean, I have offered my support and told him that I will not judge and if he needs anything to please let me know. I have also told him that I will send him some pictures of our son as well as some of his drawings to help give him something positive to look to - but I just feel as if this isn't enough. What do I do?? And maybe more importantly, what do I NOT do?