doggonecarl, thanks for your comments, and i hear what your saying. i don't look at it as a relapse, but a choice that i made to drink, and i fully acknowlege that. i know that once i made that choice yesterday it made it that much easier for me to make that choice today once again.....and then the cycle continues. i know that i put myself in an uncomfortable position, one that made me feel insecure about being "different". i learned something yesterday, and that's a good thing. i have found that for me personally guilt and negativity are not good motivators, and this is why i choose to look at it as an opportunity for growth. i'm not even sure i like the idea of counting days sober as it puts too much emphasis on the past and the future....(how many days do i have....and how many more will i have??) it eliminates the present moment and the day were living right now. thanks again for your input..