peaceful1

Today is 50 days for me, with the exception of yesterday......I haven't felt an overwhelming urge to drink, and I have been avoiding social situations where alchohol is the "main event", however yesterday I went to Oktoberfest and I drank a few beers. I allowed my thoughts about being the only one not drinking and feeling like I was not joing in the fun make it ok to go for it. I didn't allow myself to fall into the trap of hating myself and feeling guilty about it. I woke up this morning and decided to put it behind me and take note of why it happened. Then later in the day I had an upsetting conversation about my relationship with my bf and I immediately thought to myself "why don't you p/u a bottle of wine and a pack of smokes and relax, you deserve it" etc. etc....i was definitely going to do it, and I came to my senses. I was in tears in the car because I couldn't believe how easy it would be for me to fall right back into the old routine, and the unhappy me. I left the grocery store and drove right past the liquor store and came home. I'm so glad I did. I know that I need to draw some definite lines about what I will and will not do as far as social situations are concerned. In retrospect Oktoberfest is not a good place for me right now. Lesson learned. Anyway I am so grateful tonight. BTW, I do not consider this day one. It's day 50 for me, with one more opportunity for growth. Thanks for reading.....