Welcome laanisa! I remember logging onto SR feeling like a lost soul. Sad, defeated, and just plain miserable. I finally figured out if I didn't change my behavior and get sober I was going to destroy myself. I'm happy you found this site...there is tons of support here.
Make a plan for yourself....AA, Smart Recovery, counseling....some type of support for yourself. Many cannot do this alone.
Yes, it get's better!! Put the alcohol down and make today your Day1.
Your not alone!!
Best Wishes To You!