CC.....
The loveliest thing you could do for yourself and for your family is to find help for yourself first.
you know on an airplane how they tell you to put your own oxygen mask on first and then assist others? Same theory applies here.
Alanon or NarAnon meetings are for the loved ones of addicts or alcoholics. They are all over (even online) and they are free.
The book Co-Dependent No More by Melody Beattie is a life saving read too.