Thank you everyone for your support!
-TTOSB: I think you hit the nail on the head! If he hasn't relapsed already I think he's on the fast track right back there. I know that he has been working out at the gym a lot, and he has gone to a few meetings; but I was trying to motivate him to go to one every day! He hasn't continued this process with IOP like he was supposed to- he says its because he doesn't have the money for it, because his unemployment hasn't started yet. He hasn't found a therapist or changed his phone number (like we all wanted him to do). I feel like he got out of rehab and the progress just stopped.
JMF: lol you are completely right too! Thank you for your advice, I am not the addict he is- I guess I read the book because he is so closed off from me I wanted to try to understand what he was going through. All he says is that he is angry, depressed, and having really bad anxiety. He doesn't talk about cravings or about what he is feeling really. But you are right, he hasn't really done anything for his own recovery since he's been home. He has gone to a few meetings- but honestly he tell's us that he has gone, I can't say that I am 100% positive that he actually went. For all I know he could've just said that he went, and went somewhere else for the hour.
I was talking to a friend of mine tonight and honestly if I had to guess what exactly was going on based on all the facts this is it: He knows how much is on the line. His family has said this is his last shot- if he ends this recovery he will be out of the house immediately. So I think that he may have lapsed, but wants to continue with his recovery. And in his mind he can't tell anyone because he thinks he will lose everything, so now he is trying to get back on track with recovery while maybe experiencing some wds again and he knows that if I am around I will notice certain things and figure it out. Which is why he is pushing me away so no one will find out. Especially with me having more communication with his family he probably assumes that if I find out I will tell his mom like I did with the bar situation and the $400. What do you all think about that being possible? I know that I can come up with a million different scenarios of what could be the possible truth, but for some reason I just have this feeling that this is whats going on. I had even asked him last night when we were talking "so are you done with this time and space thing or what?" and he said I still need to iron some things out with myself. Well what could you possibly need to "iron out" that I can't be around for?!
All of your advice so far has really helped. I love him to death so I'm obviously not going anywhere- but for now I need to love and support him from afar. Even if he has relapsed already the truth will eventually come out, it always does. I have to just focus on myself, and continue with my life and just wait to see what happens.
I have looked into nar-anon, and have really been thinking about going to a meeting. There are a few throughout the week in my area!