seekingcalm

My rabf has been sober for 20 months, and we have been seeing one another since January, after having been separated during his initial months of sobriety and recovery.

We still live apart, and this works well for both of us. We do spend a lot of time together, and we have been very happy.

There is something that bothers me tho, and I have kept it to myself thus far. His grown children have expressed their displeasure about our relationship in the past, and now he is not completely honest with them about us.

I in no way want to influence how he handles those relationships, nor do I want to come between them, or anything like that. It just hurts when I see it happen, and I feel myself shut down. I will also admit that anything but complete honesty brings me back to a time when he was active and not honest about many things.

He knows that I would like to meet them, but he will barely mention my name to them. They are entitled to their feelings, but I think it hurts that he goes along as though there is some reason to keep me hidden from them.

It just makes me feel bad, and I react. I am afraid that if I share it with him, he will force himself to do something differently, and I really do just want to let things unfold as they may. Even though I say nothing, I have a hard time hiding how I feel. It's like a switch gets flipped, and I feel less close to him when it happens.

Thanks for listening, and for any words of wisdom. I don't want to create a rift between us, and he can be defensive as well in certain instances.