Thank you "Pelican". Those are some honest and heart~felt words. In all serious, this response has mad me think quite a bit. I am sick of living the life i do so much, i would be much happier if I can just except me, and do what I was set out to do. And live life to the fullest extent. Feeling guilt for someone else's issues and letting that falsity control my problems, is very selfish of me to my own well being. It feels so good to know there are people out there who share common ground, and have experience in what you felt all alone in. Thank you