Welcome, Dawn197!
I'm glad you've come here for support.
I came to SR last December when I was scared and didn't know what to expect when I quit oxycodone.
I'm so sorry to hear about your mother. There is so much more to life than drugs and alcohol, although that can seem like a hopeless idea when you are in a situation like yours.
If you went to your doctor today and were healthy except for the kidney infection, that is good news. Doctors don't always check for things like liver dysfunction if they don't suspect something is wrong, though, so you might want to ask for a more general check up that includes a range of metabolic blood tests as well as the focused exam she probably just did.
If you can't talk to your doctor, that is a shame, because she could be the one person who you could confide in and get support for staying clean. You should also find someone to talk to who cares about your being clean and who you can be accountable to besides yourself when you feel weak and inclined to start drinking again.
I hoe to see more of you here. You are most welcome, and hearing more of your story would be great.
FT