Ladybug0130

My soon to be ex-husband used to be a nice guy. Really. And I wasn't just snowed because I didn't know him very well, we were together almost ten years before the crazy alcoholic behavior got bad. Yes, he drank too much sometimes, and he could be a little high maintenance, but he also worked hard, always thought of the little things I liked and took good care of me and our son. I truly enjoyed being with him.

About 2008, his alcoholism ramped up considerably. He became whiny and miserable. He stopped working hard and was kinda rude to many of his customers and therefore lost business. He let things slide around the house that he never would have done before. He was kinda working on cheating on me with a girl from high school, but their emails got caught by her husband so that never went anywhere. This was truly a guy that I felt would never cheat on me before, he was very loyal. It's like really, his personality completely changed. I feel like my husband died in 2008 and I don't know this man.

Anyway, he is kinda sober-ish, or dry, or whatever you want to call it, living in a halfway house right now, and we are going through a contentious divorce. I put on a very brave face in public about it, but it is like a death. It is miserable. He is still a total a@@. He is completely self centered and acts like a whiny teenage boy. He has absolutely no idea of the damage he has caused our family and accepts no responsibility. Everything is my fault, he thinks I cheated on him (which I didn't) and I am a terrible person. He doesn't understand why I am going after the money we have left for the sake of our kids. He doesn't really think our kids matter much, to be honest. It's sad because he used to care about them a lot and he is distant now.

I am wondering, if an alcoholic doesn't drink, do you think their brain ever recovers or is it permanent damage? I realize there is no clear answer and it could go either way, but I just wanted to hear some people's experiences with this or their general take on it?