Like Life Recovery I've been in similar shoes as you... I didn't start to get it together in my life until I not only sought treatment for my e/d but took it seriously. I think part of what makes me the saddest having been married to an addict is that he's had so much more support than I did and encouragement and love to get himself help and he isn't and won't likely ever be at a place where he puts everything else aside and chooses to get well. I know alcoholism and e/d aren't the same thing but they are addictions, they impact your brain/chemistry/thinking/logic etc... and I don't see there being much difference between the two when it comes to what needs to happen to get well.
You have to put you first, put blinders on to everything else as best you can and focus on your well being.
You can't be with anyone else healthily/happily or have a full life until you yourself are well.