Thank you all for your replies! It is not nice to be heard, without being judged!
Familydestroyed: To answer your questions my kids are 2 and 3 (almost 4) and I have not put them in therapy yet. I was in therapy when all of this started and found Codependent No More, to be very helpful. It hurt to read it, but I learned a lot about myself. As for my husbands drug of choice, it sounds like it was pretty much whatever he could get his hands on, but he struggles the most with opiates, heroin especially. Although I just found out that he was also using meth...nice huh?!? I think his parents still think that he just smokes too much pot...what a joke!!
Thank you for the idea about journalling, I think I will start to do that. I am also going to look into therapy for my kids and myself. I like to think that he has not done that much damage, but when I slow down and really think about it, the weight of the destruction cripples me.
Dolly: His parents are deeply in denial. Which I can understand the want to think the best of your child, but I honestly think they think a lot of this is my fault. I finally had enough and kicked him out of the house. They blame his relapse on the fact that I filed for divorce and chose to move on. I know in my rational mind, that they are just deflecting, but it still hurts.
Thank you again for all of your kind words! I look forward to getting to know all of you
Jamie