Welcome to S.R.
Don't let anyone "guilt" you into believing that you are the one who can stop your AH's consequences of his addiction.
As a parent of 2 addicts, I can fully understand their denial.
Hopefully, in time, they will see the "light" and acknowledge that they are not responsible for the addict or his actions.
I am happy for you, and your children that you are moving forward.
hugs to you........