Hi HAH and welcome.
One of the things that you are worried about is how bad you feel about what you have put your Mom and brother through...best thing that you can do for them AND YOURSELF, is to get yourself well my friend. Trust me, I know. I put my Mum and my brother through hell. I'm 5 months sober as of September 27th
It will come...you have come to the right place...great start.
We are all here for you!