You have two levels... the legal/ financial level is what you have a lawyer for. You have to think calmly about your future. Giving up EVERYTHING that you are legally entitled to, will be an emotional choice...not good.
His insanity is separate. Nothing you do..fair or not, is going to change that. Obviously, it already has messed with your head, and is intruding into the nuts and bolts of the divorce.
Just my thoughts... cut your losses and run is something that MIGHT be necessary. But don't go there, UNLESS IT BECOMES necessary.