You do have a lot of reasons to feel fear. When you get stateside, get yourself set up in housing, and then call the alanon number in the phonebook and let them know your circumstances generally, and ask for help. There are alanon meetings that have children along. Just ask for help looking for resources, don't be afraid to ask and see what you can discover.
There is help out there, but you have to let it be known that you could use some help.
I promise that the fear and pain doing this will be less than the fear and pain of being stuck in a foreign country with basically no support and no independence.
We are here, also 24/7/365 at SR - there is almost always someone human to connect with day or night, or shortly, if you need human contact. Look at the number of folks on the boards - tens of thousands of members here - YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
If it were easy to extract oneself from being a victim of addiction, we wouldn't need support such as this board. Don't feel abnormal because you have fears, weaknesses, anxiety and confusion. This is normal! There is a path forward, a structure, if you get plugged into alanon and get some help, tools, and support!
Sending encouragement,
CLMI