lillamy

Nope, he was in the driver's seat. That was the main reason I was so uncomfortable. Because he's not. But he's jerking me around with "I don't have time to have the kids this week because it's so busy at work" and limiting my options by being an unreliable parent (I had to turn down a job I was offered because it involved a lot of travel -- and I can't safely leave town even on the weeks the kids are with him because I never know if he's going to go koo-koo-bat-sh*t crazy). And I think that's part of why I have nightmares. Because I can't control him, he's unpredictable, and because of that, I can't even control my own life all the time. And while I thought I had sort of accepted that, my dreams are telling me I haven't.