Originally Posted by
Alone22 
When two humans interact there are bound to be some issues....trying to working through them seems like a wise idea. If one does not express their thoughts on what they need how is the other person to know? Am I making any sense here? lol
Yes you're making sense, dear.
I think things can get confusing when discussing expectations, needs, wants, etc.
I know for me, I have a bar of standards, and if you want to call that expectations, then so be it. There was a time when my bar of standards was so low that no one could limbo under it!
I can give you two opposite examples of "expectations", and what my boundaries are.
Youngest daughter is a hard worker, responsible most of the time. I "expect" to be treated with respect on her part. She does 99 9/10% of the time. My boundary is if you don't respect me, I will cease communication at the time. The few times she has popped off at my house, she's been asked to leave and come back when her attitude is readjusted. If we're on the phone, I flat out hang up on her.
My AD, well, that is the opposite end of the spectrum. I don't "expect" anything from her because she's an active addict. She is also no longer welcome in my home, and I have minimal communication via phone. Those are my boundaries firmly established after she turned my household upside down in less than a month.
I do think it's reasonable and healthy for a couple to discuss needs and wants. If a marriage can't have dialog, then it's not much of a marriage.
Personally I completely understand your stance on the sex thing. I did the "good" wife thing too. Ugh.
Sending you hugs of support!
