Laurie- I trust and value your input but I am struggling with you reading I have expectations. I guess I would like my RAH to do behave in certain ways ( loving, respectful, and honest) and I do have the expectation that those things are key in a good marriage. Can I control his behavior, no. I have to admit I do get confused at determining what my needs are and not have it look like an expectation.
It is funny you say the SO thinks things should be moving forward and all okay because right now for us it is the other way around. My RAH thinks that because he went to rehab and is doing the right things we should just be able to move forward and have it all just be okay at this point. I'm the one having the issue with it. I know he needs time and so do I and putting our marriage back together is going to take some work.
I'm glad you talked about the couples groups. My RAH came home and told me about one here locally. We are planning on going tomorrow night. I think it is a wonderful idea and for some reason you bringing it up makes me feel even better about attending one.
You have given me stuff to think about.. thank you.