think if anyone here "hated" their addict, they wouldn't be here trying to cope with having an addict in their life in the first place. They would walk away from the addict and cut all ties and communication.
The anger may seem unfair or misplaced, but it's really quite normal. Many here have had their lives thrown into chaos because of the behavior of another. We're here learning to cope with loving someone while recognizing we can't control their outcome. We're learning to continue loving them while mitigating the damage their use does to us, mentally, emotionally, physically and financially.
Well said
I also agree with posters who mentioned that many of us here are just learning to feel our own feelings. I've mentioned on another thread that acknowledging anger/being angry is very difficult for me. In learning and practicing this new feeling it's possible that I (and others) swing too far the other way when we communicate about it.
I know that I've been walking around my home for the past 2 weeks with "I hate you" randomly popping into my head. It happens when I see things that relate to AH's son (my bonus son) or when I see things that remind me of plans that we have made. I don't hate him and I know I don't but I guess for me it's a way of acknowledging the anger that I feel about what he has done to our family.