I have ro so it was sort of forced nc. But before I got healthier/saner, I would rake the calls, texts, get sucked into face to face discussions. Always ended with me upset or feeling bad. But I would keep it up b/c I was so nice. I did not want him to accuse me of being rude or mean or using the kids. Sounds like today was sort of lightbulb moment for you. I eventually just got so fed up And my feelings finally took preference over his. Sure he will be mad as hell if you do not take his calls, do not respond to texts. But if that is what you need to do for peace- do it! It's so true that we need to take care of ourselves. A normal person would feel very comfortable setting a boundary of email only. We are just so programmed to consider and work around their feelings we get stuck!
You were a great mom today! And you tried to be a kind (ex)wife. It's not recognized or appreciated. It goes against all we know/feel, but we need to almost be selfish. Do everything with your health & recovery as #1 priority! Goodnight and god bless. Hope D feels better soon....