Thank you for all the support and wonderful suggestions! I know I need to be true to myself no matter what, put my sobriety first, and trust that all is going to be ok eventually. I really don't want to go back to drinking just to save my marriage, I lived in such darkness. Now I'm gaining a little self respect, and my kids respect me more. I have "The Language of letting go"! I should read it. I'm humbled and amazed at the level of support and encouragement I get from everyone at this site. You have truly talked me down off that ledge where I was seriously considering going back to drinking so I could relate better to my husband. I don't have to do that today. Thank u from the bottom of my heart!!