Originally Posted by
familydestroyed 
It does matter to me because emotionally I haven't detached. I care about this man. I have known him my whole life. The situation is sad and what he is doing to himself is painful to watch.?
I know exactly how you are feeling. Of course you care about him. I care about and love my ABF with all of my heart, but worrying myself sick over his addiction has only brought on more pain and heartache. For a long time I couldn't detach, or more like
wouldn't detach, because I felt guilty, felt like I was giving up on him. But that is far from what detachment is - it's letting go of your need to control his behavior, letting go of all of the pain and anxiety, letting go of his addiction and allowing him to suffer the consequences of his own choices. It's the only way to get through this, and you will continue to feel this way until you detach from him addiction. Trust me, it's the best thing for both of you. He'll have to take responsibility for his own choices and behaviors, and you will feel as if a huge weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. Detachment will bring you peace.
Good luck.
Sending hugs and strength your way,