Discouraged
I made it thru my vacation without drinking but am having horrible cravings tonight. I have mostly had a very positive attitude about being sober but for some reason tonight I am weepy and anxious. What is going on? Lately every time I try to get sober I don't make it much past this mark (44 days). I lose my resolve, start to question myself, miss relating to my still drinking husband, convince myself I can handle it better this time, freak out at the notion of not EVER being able to drink again. I don't know how many times I have left to get sober. I can't believe I am thinking this way again I am really so disappointed in myself. Somebody please remind me why I am doing this sobriety thing. Why does this have to be so hard? How can a substance have this much influence in my life? I'm scared.