Originally Posted by
Terminally Unique 
It is a last resort, to be sure, but an ultimatum is not an attempt to control, nor does it force anyone to do anything.
Well, in theory, this may be true, but in reality it's very controlling. I speak from experience. Multiple times, I did the ultimatum thing with my husband. And multiple times he quit drinking for a period of time. Once was as long as four months. Those times were actually worse than the times when he was actively drinking. Why? Because he hated me for "forcing" him to give up the booze. He became outright mean and vengeful, to the point where I questioned myself and wondered if it wouldn't be better if he just drank! This is why I question the effectiveness of ultimatums. Maybe your experience is different.
L