maybe some of it is conditioning to us, that as normal persons (usually women but not always)... that problems are solved by discussion. At least that is how I see things.
But discussion involves both logic and honesty on both parts. And it is very hard to see how most (probably all) alcoholics have neither of those tools in their life. They live by denial that alcohol screws them up, and the thinking process.
Catch 22. I have big issues with it, myself.