I agree with Thumper. Where I am in my recovery - I'm like a baby still learning to walk... and those kinds of conversations are crazy and scary to me too. I think that's normal. As I build strength, I imagine standing up for me will get easier... become more of a habit than an effort.
Saying the Serenity prayers helps me to remember that I am not alone... and that my HP will be with me, give me the strength to do what I need to do... and that whatever I am able to do - is exactly what is meant to be.
Hugs to you gbz because I understand - wishing you strength, courage, and hope,
Shannon
P.S. I wanted to edit to add that... sometimes the only correct answer is - "I don't know." For so long, I failed to realize that I could just say that... and it was enough. I felt obligated to explain, defend, justify... ugh, I always ended up in a conversation that spun out of control. Keeping it simple (and truthful) has done wonders for my serenity.