Still sober...
I'm on vacation with my husband and another couple, all 3 very heavy drinkers. It hasn't been easy, as I'm just over a month sober. It's the last night we go home tomorrow so I don't have much longer to make it through. I recognize all the "slippery" thoughts in my head tho. How unfair it is that these other 3 people who drink as much or more than I did get to keep drinking seemingly without consequence while I am trying so hard to make my life healthier and better (ok that one sounds kind of stupid now that I write it out). Why do I have to be an alcoholic? Maybe I'm not an alcoholic but just a "heavy drinker". I don't know where that line begins. How in the world am I ever going to live THE REST OF MY LIFE without drinking? They are out at a brewery now and I opted not to tempt myself and stayed in the cabin. So I feel left out. Un sociable. Sad and lonely. Disconnected. All the things that have always led me to relapse. This site has saved me on this trip. I'm sure they all think I'm terribly rude with my head in my phone all the time but I'm actually reading here and gaining tools and strength. Sorry for rambling. Thank you for being here.