Thumper - thanks for that post. I am a 'double winner' as it is known, and I stayed in a relationship with my ex partner after I entered recovery and suffered the consequences, so I too, have a 'red flag' list! Each of us must take responsibility for the people we choose to enter into unions with, and boundaries and standards are essential to this. I completely understand some people's reluctance to ever get involved with an addict again, recovering or otherwise, but we are not here to project our negativity onto others surely? (This is not a remark aimed at you personally, just this thread in general). We do not know this man or indeed the poster, and although we can share experiences, we are surely not entitled to say things like 'run, run, run' etc. He could well be genuine, and as Freedom pointed out earlier, there are many, many good and decent people found in the rooms of AA. Let us not judge every alcoholic as being a serial relapser/emotional abuser - there are many who aren't. Thanks.