LaTeeDa

Exactly.

I was taught (like many of us) to be goal-oriented. Which, by itself, is not a bad thing. But, being a perfectionist (among other things ) led me to take it way too far. I went from goal-oriented right on to tunnel-vision. I had a goal (or goals) and I could not see anything else. My mind was absolutely closed to any alternatives that didn't fit with my "plan."

As I said, I don't know what the lesson is here for you, but if you are willing to allow yourself to consider alternative outcomes, maybe you will find it. Maybe it's time to consider a career change? Maybe it's time to move forward with the divorce and get some court-ordered support coming? Maybe it's time to sell the house and ditch the mortgage payment? Maybe it's time to just appreciate being home with your children?

You don't need to answer any of these questions for me. And you certainly don't need to make a definite decision on any of them. All I'm suggesting is that you contemplate the possibilities and then, with an open mind, pay attention to what happens. Opportunities generally come my way when I least expect them, but if I am not open to considering them as opportunities, they pass right by.

None of this is easy. In the beginning, I had to reach a point of absolute desperation before I would let go of my desired outcome and embrace other alternatives. Over the years, I've been able to cling a little less tightly to what I want and allow what is. This is something I will spend the rest of my days practicing, but it gets a little easier all the time.

I know there is a good life waiting for you and my wish for you is that you are able to see it when it is revealed.

L