Hi Wantmyselfback, When I was in the throes of my addiction, I blamed every drink I took on someone else. They made me pour that alcohol down my throat. They said the wrong thing, they hurt my feelings, they said I had a problem. I could go on forever....the TRUTH is, you took the drug......you made the decision, and only you can fix this. I had a lot of anger.....until I worked on that, I kept drinking. The responsibility is yours...not some girl that cancelled a date.
I don't know if you have any form of support.....you may want to look into N/A, counseling or another program of your choosing.
Best Wishes To You!