I am a woman and I did not take offense although the above posts have some pretty amazing messages if you can allow yourself to not take it personal.
I really felt your deep despair and am so sorry. I'm glad you have your music to get you through. You can do this. You can live sober. Hey! You'll make a better partner for someone when you get back to the real you. Who are you anyway? You'll won't know till you get sober but you sound like you have amazing potential. You sound like you really wanna do it!