WantMyselfBack,
You need to look in the mirror. While I do not know you, by your post I can tell a few things...
1. Projection - yes you know what this is.
2. Your addict brain won. You listened to it.
3. This is what addict brain does, blame everyone else.
Before you lash out again, you absolutely need to take an inventory of what you've done, what you're doing now, and what you intend to do.
Give yourself a break, and re-evaluate. Now that you've used once - STOP NOW!!!!!
You're over the hump and using for a day is not going to take you back to day 1! It's minor. YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!