Conchgirl - Reading your post is like looking at myself in the mirror two years ago (when I was 39), I'm now 41 and 9 days sober. In the last two years I stopped going to the gym (what was the point when that paunch wouldn't go away) got to the stage of drinking two bottles of wine per night - after all I liked being drunk so I was past caring whether I could function the next day or not. Then thought about how 6pm (wine time) could be altered to 3pm or 2pm!
9 days ago, I woke up feeling like sh1t again! That was my rock bottom (I hope, because I'm not sure I want to slip any further), this morning I woke up clear headed and thought "what do I hope to accomplish today". 9 days ago It would have been "what's the point?"
My advice - be kind to yourself, take some time to read all that SR has to offer. Talk openly and honestly to your husband. Pack in the wine for a while, see how it feels...
Take care
xx