Hi conchgirl, firstly well done for looking and finding SR, an act of bravery on its own. Life in general and that includes mental, physical and spiritually, is 100% better without alcohol. See heres the thing, in my experience anyway, alcoholics like many of us are wires differently. We are incapable to drink socially and thus just cannot drink. This was something that i had to battle with for a long time before i finally "got it". Its hard in the beginning but so worth it in the end.
My only advise would be to consider not drinking for a period (most people say 6 - 12 months) and see how you go, you wont be dissapointed.
Regards
Ant