Hi conchgirl, and welcome,
I didn’t want to quit either for a long time, my health slowly started telling on me, swollen right side near liver, elevated liver function, hiding how much I drank from my family and eventually even the ones I was drinking with.
Your right about the rock bottom, sometimes it’s more like quicksand, you keep digging deeper and may not realize it while it’s happening.
I do know this thing is progressive, I denied it for years but everything that I kept reading here kept coming true, I remember the last ‘shot’ of whiskey I took with my dad, he said ‘see, just one, that’s all ya need’. The difference was I keep thinking about another shot for the rest of the day, until I finally left to go home, then I stopped for more, a lot more. ‘They’ will never understand.
Glad you’re here, I agree with everyone above, thing is we are a lot alike, maybe you’re like us too, if so you have come to the right place for support.