Hi WTBH...
I agree with Dollydo - its tough to tell which comes first. I will not excuse it as happening as a result of being drunk. The person said the words - not the alcohol. Alcohol only lowers the inhibitation - allowing the crap to flow, IMHO.
Unfortunately, I had an incident two weeks ago with my AH - he was drunk, and objectifying me. All I can say is that event made me ramped up my work on detachment and my exit plan. My AH is clearly progressing in his disease. His ability to filter his mental garbage is rapidly eroding... and I'm his target. No good.
There is nothing I can say or do to make him stop. And to be honest, I've given up on trying to understand why he says/does what he does. Hell, I've got my hands full just figuring out why I do what I do!! I grew up with a dry drunk father who objectified women... so it's really no big surprised that I ended up married to the same freakin' thing - at least that's what my therapist tells me.
I'm sorry that you are dealing with that behavior. I know first hand how badly it can undermine your self-worth. I know that I am a smart, strong, successful engineer - but the slightest comment about my looks, my body, the way I dress, etc... and I become a spineless, whimpering mess. It sucks. I feel like it is done to me as a means of "controlling" me and knocking me down a few notches - in essense, it's about the other person's fears... not really about me. I try to remember that logic... and it helps me not show my hurt, on the outside anyways... it's still there on the inside.