Bblackbird, I'm sorry to hear that:
"I'm sad. I drank. I'm sorry. I'm sad. I drank. I'm sorry. I'm sad. I drank. I'm sorry".
Alcohol is a depressant, so drinking makes you feel sad and sorry. If you break the vicious circle, probably you will begin to feel less sad and less sorry... the "broken record".
You are in my prayers. I send you a big hug. Take care. There is a lot of life out there awaiting for you getting sober.