journeygal

** Warning ** EXTREMELY mushy post ahead!!!

As I was walking back from eating lunch today, a strong feeling came over me that everything is going to be ok, that this is all going to work out.

For the first time I think I really understand the peace and serenity that can come from working an al-anon recovery program. All day I have felt so positive, so calm, so at ease, so happy about my baby, and so optimistic about my life. It's the optimism that sorta surprises me, but not really. It's what I've been working toward the past 2-3 years. And it's my faith that I so desperately searched for and have finally found and embraced. It's a profound lack of fear and the absolute certainty that this will all end up ok. I may not know how or when or what, but I know that I will be fine and my baby will be fine. And I feel so good! I can't explain this. I would have never expected to feel so good with my husband gone on a month-long crack binge, yet I am filled with the knowledge that everything is going to be ok. I feel so good right now. I love this feeling. I hope to never lose it. I look forward to the end of this drama and the beginning of my new life as a mom.

I feel great and I am so thankful to God for all of my blessings. This is another first - to be in the midst of the storm and still be grateful and still able to give thanks to God. I thank you God for my house, for being in such good health with this pregnancy, for seeing the baby's heartbeat, for all of my blessings, including the ones I haven't seen or acknowledged. I'm so grateful for today and for my life. I am happy. Today, I feel really happy.