Hi friends. More great posts thank you all so much.
Im feeling sort of quiet and peaceful. Happy to say that I felt ok all day today - its such a relief to feel "normal" or, well, just not ill or wierd. If this continues I feel I will be very very happy soon. Just to wake up having a decent amount of energy and feel able to tackle whatever comes along will do me fine. Im almost reluctant to say it in case its not happening but I am feeling that the depression is lifting at last.
Whilst I was feeling really rotten with the depression, my life seemed as unmanageable as it was when I was drinking, however I still did not drink nor, amazingly, did I want to. Now (hopefully) im through it I cant imagine wanting to drink again and go back through choice to being in that state. I am under no illusion that I can have one or two drinks and get away with it, nor would there be any point in that. I can only put this down to the fact that I spent a number of weeks working on the first 3 steps which Instant listed above - the acceptance steps. I wouldnt have been able to do this as thoroughly without the guidance of my sponsor. Its all in the big book but its not stuff I would have got by just reading it.