Beulah shouldn't you be in bed? It' s 8am here on Saturday morning. I am sitting on the deck with a cup of tea !!
Regarding my wife I do not think people like us can ever be people like them. It's biological. I think it is like believing that if we wanted it enough or tried hard enough or were "good" enough we could change the shape of our eyes. Most of us here have tried to alter our behaviour and not been satisfied with the results (unmanageable).
I believe that I am hard wired to enjoy the buzz (powerlessness). This capacity is linked to the tendency to develop cravings once drinking has started (powerlessness). The cravings have "mindsets" associated with them that promote drinking and undermine abstinence. These things are beyond my control. I can fight the AV but I cannot shut him up at will.
I honestly do not want to be like my wife with regard to drinking. This is what is wrong with me, that has led me to my life being unmanageable. The thing is still there but hasn't been fed for so long either by me fantasising or using he has grown weak.
He is however stalking me like a tiger in the jungle. Hand me my pith helmet, and I will shoot the beast onsight !!