My story has 4 parts to it. So here is part 2
After I left my ex, I moved in with my friends. They gave me the key to their house, several months prior to this. Between Aug 2008, and Dec 2008, I went back and forth many times to my ex. Each time I left, I brought more clothes with me, and more tools with me. I guess, I never thought that I was going to actually leave. I wanted it to be a wake-up call.
My friends had bought this house to be there permanent house, but they only came up on weekends for a year, because they still had another house. They let me live there for nothing, they took me out all the time to eat on weekends, they bought me presents, like t shirts. They were great to me. I wish everyone could have friends like mine.
So, I'm a handy person. I wanted to pay them back for all their help, so I painted all the rooms in their house for them, took down wallpaper, fixed the walls, painted the outside of their house, it was a ranch.
After all the times my ex put me down for wanting to do stuff like this, and me feeling so bad that he would yell at me if I did, I developed a motto. "Don't tell me that I am not capable of doing something, if I feel that I can do it, then I will get it done. I also painted their basement floor, and put epoxy on it, with the flakes. It looked great. I also repaired their driveway.
They never expected me to do any of this. I just wanted to do it for them. I also took care of my friends 90 yr old father. Took him to his doctors appts, set up his meds, stayed with him for hours each day after his surgery. I did that for about a year, until he died.
I never felt appreciated as much as they made me feel appreciated. The compliments I got from every one there, including their relatives really helped my self esteem.
They went through my divorce with me. Held me when I cried, listened to me, when I needed to talk. I never knew what normal was, until I lived with them. That was the best experience I ever had in my life, and I can never thank them enough for this.
I didn't file for the divorce, he did. His reasoning was that you can't have a relationship, if you are not together. He was the nastiest person that I could ever imagine someone being. He put our house up for sale, and then told me that I should sign the papers from the real estate agent. He cleaned out the house, and got rid of a lot of my stuff, I went there a few times, to get as much out that I could. I couldn't go there when he was there. I was too afraid. He put the furniture in storage, and when I got my house, and asked him about it, he told me that none of it was mine.
My friends helped me through all of this. They were also his closest friends. I know that I am leaving out a lot, but that would just make things too long.
I did end up with a pretty decent alimony, and cash settlement. Much more than what I thought that I would get, but only enough to live lower middle class, that's why I bought the foreclosure. I thought that if I could do all that work on their house, it should be a breeze for me to work on my own house.