Feeling alone.
Hi. I have read this forum now and then but never posted till now. Here is a bit of info about me. I am 24 years old and live in a small city in northern england. I have always loved alcohol ever since my first bottle of cider at 13 years old and by the time i was 18 i was drinking 3-4 litres of cider a day, dropped out of college and my life was going nowhere. I then managed to get a job in a factory where i still work today and managed to stop the daily drinking and just enjoyed a binge every weekend telling myself that its fine because most people my age were/are doing it. 6 years on and i am still drinking heavily every weekend and suffer frequent blackouts while drunk. I then decided i will have a month off to see if i could. I didn't even make it past the first weekend and have tried many times to just go one weekend without a drink bit rarely can i manage so i am convinced that this is a form of alcoholism. I should be able to enjoy myself without a drink but i can't. I have recently joined a gym and lost 2 and a half stone, i am back at college one night a week and quit smoking 7 and a half months ago without any problems. I would just love to be able to enjoy myself without alcohol. Also i now have health anxiety which i am not sure is caused by the drinking or if i drink to hide it. Sorry for the lengthy post i just had to get the details across and hopefully somebody has been in the same boat.