You know, even when you don't know you know. You know?
He picked up last night. Even in the midst of AA meetings every day, group therapy, individual therapy, a new sponsor. Even with a fiancee who has one foot out the door. Even with his young daughter newly returned to his house.
At least he called to tell me. It's so sad, really. I know he feels terrible but I know now what I have to do. I was so calm, not one comment was sarcastic or angry or bitter... I just listened, thanked him for telling me, and said I was so sorry he is going through this. Then, in calmness, I explained how I can't be on the ride anymore. And he agreed. In the past I would have asked what I could do, could I help, etc. I knew there's nothing I could do except ask what he thinks he needs to do and if he's safe. But I am clear now. (Let's hope I remain clear...).
I was planning to go to him in a time of calmness and sobriety and discuss it -- didn't want to end it in the midst of a relapse -- but given the course of events, it was the right time. Timing is everything, like they say.
Thanks, you guys, for being there and listening.